


Money For A Home

by theangelwiththewormstache



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas pov of his time as a human, Human Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Pining Castiel (Supernatural), Prostitute Castiel (Supernatural), Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, does not go into detail of sex with others, its all just thoughts and feelings of wanting to go home, set somewhere s9 after dean kicks cas out of the bunker, this is all just sad cassie so enjoy his pain you sickos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:46:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29895117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theangelwiththewormstache/pseuds/theangelwiththewormstache
Summary: Castiel didn't just lose his wings. He lost everything. As a human, he learns the faster you make money the faster you can have a bed to lie on.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Money For A Home

Castiel, he’s Steve to those around him, learns pretty quickly that he doesn’t like his hair tugged. 

He has a list of stuff he doesn’t enjoy, while the list has for things he does enjoy is currently blank. He can’t speak of his discomfort out loud; he also learned that pretty quickly because people won’t pay him, and he needed the money for food. Or at least enough for a night at a motel where he can just sleep in a bed all alone. Not to be woken up by a stranger telling him he had to leave or wanted something else from him when all Cas wanted was to be dead to the world. To dream of a life where he had a home. Had a family. Had somebody.

“How much?” 

This question is thrown at him in replacement of a greeting so often now that Castiel knew it would haunt him in the future. Simple words were spoken so easily by others, and yet it leaves Cas flinching while a cold dread runs through his body. 

He answers, it was an automatic response that he tried not to have it sound as tired as he felt, and then he is being kissed. He hated being kissed the most and carefully moved in a way to not offend the rough lips that only start kissing down his throat. Hands start roaming his borrowed body–he has yet to accept that this is all that’s left of his once-great and powerful self. That this is _him_ now. Nothing special. Only a small, weak, and lacking human-looking thing that will only ever be a guest in this shell of a human vessel. 

He fought his instincts to push the hands away while he found reassurance knowing there was a blade that lived in the duffle bag at his feet. It wouldn’t be the first time he would need to take it out to defend himself, but he always used it as a last resort for a human, even for a human whose soul was as blackened as a demon’s eyes. 

They will get their punishment in hell soon enough, but Cas wasn’t a righteous angel or even a human right now. He just wanted to get this over with so he can move on. If he does this three times today, he would have saved enough money for that motel by the road. For one night of peace of mind.

He closes his eyes and lets his mind drift off to somewhere more pleasant. Somewhere warm. Someone warm. 

\- 

Castiel hates having sex. 

He finds no pleasure in it, but luckily, his body doesn’t show his discomfort or disgust in the act. It became routine to have somebody else have control of this body. To do whatever it is they want with it before they throw him away in disgust. The feeling just as mutual, but sex meant more money and more money meant a shower. 

“Was that good for you?” 

He felt a kiss at the back of his neck as the foreign arms wrapped around his middle to pull him in close. Cas pushed himself up to sit at the edge of the bed and away from the stranger’s grasp. Not wanting to be touched anymore. 

“All that matters is that it was good for you,” Cas tells them as he stands to pick up his clothes from the motel floor. When he’s fully dressed again, he holds his hand out for the rest of the payment, already planning the bus route to the motel across town where they had a bathtub. 

He didn’t feel like drowning today, but he would like to take a long hot shower and then soak in a hot bath. He would like to feel the burn of the water instead of the burn of skin against his own. 

Cas saw a flicker of hesitation in the person’s eyes as they hold the money in their grasp. He knew this look. They weren’t going to pay him. Believing they are above it. They believe Castiel is too low to fight for it. 

They would be wrong.

-

It wouldn’t be the first time that Castiel was left for dead–shit, it wouldn’t be the first time Castiel wished someone would actually finish the damn job and kill him already–but this time, he woke up inside a dumpster wrapped in a bloody bedsheet. It was a new one for him, but his first thought was his duffle bag. 

He felt panic rise in his chest as he unwrapped himself and ignored the pain on the back of his head. That’s where the lamp struck him, but his vision was fine; he can do without the piercing ringing in his ears, so he’s taking that as a sign to not go to the hospital. 

He pushed the dumpster lid open to get some light but found the night sky welcoming him instead. He liked the nights a little more, but today there was no moon out to help him see. So he relied on touch and hoped the duffle was just thrown in here with him. 

When he finally found the familiar fabric, he unzipped it and felt around until his hand landed on something small and cold. 

He flipped the phone open, and the light of the cell hurt his eyes but he blinked a couple of times until he could read the screen. He had eight missed calls and ten text messages waiting for him. 

He pressed on the only name on his contact as he jumped out of the dumpster, but he only ended up falling on his ass. His whole body felt like it was asleep while his head spun. 

“Cas!” He heard the familiar voice soothe him. “What the hell, man? Why haven’t you answered my calls? You okay?”

Cas opened his mouth to say no. To finally tell the only person who still called him by his name with warmth and concern, he was so fucking miserable. That he wished he was fucking dead than to walk another step in this life. 

“Yes.” He says instead. “Sorry, I was at work.”

“Oh. Man, sorry, I forgot you got one of those. How is that Gas-n’-Sip life treating you?”

“Um, good. Is there a reason you called, Dean?”

“Yeah! Dude, guess what Kevin did today?”

Cas listened to Dean’s words and let them warm him up.

-

Castiel hated when gravel dug into his skin. He always insisted on doing whatever they wanted somewhere private, but this person wanted it outside while promising to pay twice as much, so he didn’t say no. Fighting the disgust he felt inside at being out in the open. The full moon finally out to shine a light on his hideous act. 

When Cas pulled away to take a breath, he felt his hair tugged so he could look up at the man who made him feel small. It made him realize that his once great self was long gone, and this is all that’s left. He hated it. Hated this man. Hated himself. Hated the whole damn world.

Hated _him_.

“I’m done.” Castiel heard himself before he understood that this was not the only thing he would give up on. 

“You’re…you’re done? You can’t be done!”

“I am.” He shoved the man’s hands off of him. “My apologies, but I must go.”

Go and do what? He still doesn’t know, but he didn’t want to do this anymore. He just wanted to sleep. He wanted to climb into a bed and sleep. Just the idea of it was making him cry. 

He started to stand up, but then a knee went flying to his face, knocking him back when he felt his nose crunch in the process. Blood was slipping in between his lips as he blinked up at the night sky that still comforted him. 

“We had a deal. You get me off, and I pay. Simple.” Cas heard before he was lifted by his shirt and pinned against the truck’s cold metal. “It’s not good to break a client’s trust like that.”

Cold, angry eyes stare back at Castiel, but he really couldn’t care. He was just tired. 

Apparently, not saying anything was just as offensive as saying something because then he felt a ring-covered knuckle strike his mouth and send his head back to hit a metal knob. He wished he could have just slept until he was gone, not wanting to deal with pain, but this will do too. As long as the job was done, then he didn’t care how he went anymore. 

Then he felt the man’s hand grip at his throat, fingers digging into his skin and blocking his airway. That’s where the peaceful death he longed for was replaced by fear. 

He clawed at the arm that pinned him while panic started to set in. His vision blurred as his lungs burned with the lack of oxygen that this fragile body needed to survive. It required so much to get through the day, and people do it for years, but Castiel couldn’t even last a few months. Already giving up on life before life even started. 

Now he lost his chance at another life, and he would die at the hands of an angry man. If not by this one, he was sure his death would have involved an angry man. He just figured it would have been the angry man that called him three times a week to check if he ate. To check if he was doing fine or if he needed anything. 

Dean is going to be disappointed in him. Again. He never did get a chance to redeem himself to his friend, and now he will never be given that chance. Only to leave a broken world for Dean to fix instead of the paradise Cas wished for him. 

Cas felt his body go cold as his arms sagged to his side. His eyes dropped as tears mixed with the blood on his face. 

“Let go of him, and maybe I won’t shoot that dick you still have hanging out.”

Cas felt the grip on him loosen until it was gone. Leaving him to slide down until he was back on his hands and knees, coughing up blood and breathing in the air he so desperately needed. 

He felt a warm hand run circles down his back, and he didn’t have to look up because, of course, he would lean down until they were eye to eye. Until they were equal. 

“Fuck you, Dean.” He managed to say before he falls to the gravel floor he hates so much.


End file.
